Florence

Hey there, boy,
Blue boy,
Let me make you smile,
Let me take you to the sea,
We can let our souls blend at the shore,
My young green,
And your happy blue,
Can swim until they are tired and their muscles ache,
And when they are done, we will lie on the floor,
Skin on skin,
And blame all our troubles on too much wine,
Speaking in the same language,
What a lovely color we would make.

Running Playlist

This is (most of) what I hear in my ears when I run.

• Arcade Fire - Ready To Start
• Beirut - Elephant Gun*
• My Chemical Romance - Headfirst for Halos
• Crash Kings - Mountain Man
• The Gaslight Anthem - Great Expectations*
• Against Me! - Don't Lose Touch
• Interpol - No I in Threesome
• Modest Mouse - Dashboard
• Kings of Leon - Closer
• Kasabian - Club Foot
• MuteMath - Reset*
• Vetusta Morla - Valiente
• Foo Fighters - In Your Honor
• Matt and Kim - Daylight
• The Maccabees - Love You Better*
• Cake - Love You Madly
• Supergrass - Alright
• Generationals - Ten-Twenty-Ten*
• Drake & Lykke Li - A Little Bit
• Sonoio (Alessandro Cortini) - Enough
• Manchester Orchestra - I've Got Friends
• Radiohead - Everything In Its Right Place*
• Vetusta Morla - Maldita Dulzura*
• Van Morrison - Aint No Sunshine
• MIA - Paper Planes
• Kylie Minogue - Slow
• R.E.M. - Nightswimming*
• R.E.M. - At My Most Beautiful
• Beck - Nausea
• Arcade Fire - Neighborhood #3 (Power Out)*
• Arcade Fire - My Body Is a Cage*
• Civil Twilight - Letters From the Sky*
• Mumford and Sons - Little Lion Man
• Interpol - Stella Was A Diver And She Was Always Down*
• Editors - Bullets
• MuteMath - The Nerve
• Foo Fighters - Everlong
• Machester Orchestra - I Can Barely Breathe
• LMFAO - Party Rock Anthem    <----(don't judge me, it gets me pumped)
• Sia - Breathe Me
• Thom Yorke - Hearing Damage*
• Bombay Bicycle Club - Always Like This*
• Adele - Rolling In The Deep
• Phoenix - 1901
• The Big Pink - Dominoes*
• Vetusta Morla - La Marea*
• Radiohead - Bodysnatchers
• Bloc Party - Banquet
• Manchester Orchestra - Shake It Out*
• Muse - Bliss
• Lady Gaga - Teeth
• Coheed and Cambria - Welcome Home
• The Temper Trap - Sweet Disposition
• Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Spread Your Love
• The Maccabees - About Your Dress
• Metro Station - Shake It
• John Legend - Ordinary People
• Franz Ferdinand - No You Girls
• Arcade Fire - We Used To Wait
• Muse - Knights of Cydonia*
• David Guetta - Sexy Bitch
• Snow Patrol - Somewhere A Clock Is Ticking*
• Kid Cudi - Day N Nite
• Muse - Take A Bow
• Fleet Foxes - White Winter Hymnal*

I may have gone a bit overboard. This by no means represents all of my favorite songs, only the ones I like to run to.

My extra special favorites are marked with an asterisk.*

The Rabbit and the Crocodile: A Fable

Once, there was a rabbit who lived all by himself in a wooden house by the river. He had a happy life, and was trusting of his neighbors. The other animals who lived by the river enjoyed the rabbit’s company because he always told wonderful stories and baked delicious mud cakes.  Although the rabbit had many friends, he was often lonely for a companion of his own.

One day, a very pretty crocodile decided to make her home along the bank of the very same river that the rabbit lived on. Being a kind and generous creature, the rabbit welcomed the crocodile to the neighborhood by bringing her some fresh mud cakes. The rabbit could not help but notice that the crocodile was very beautiful, but dismissed the thought because, after all, he was just a plain rabbit, who no one ever paid attention to in that special way.

Sensing his weakness, the crocodile decided to slowly indulge in the rabbit’s kindness. She visited the rabbit a few days after arriving on the bank. She batted her crocodile eyes, and flashed her bright white crocodile teeth. The crocodile made sure to see if the rabbit was blushing. He was.

A few days later, the crocodile asked the rabbit to accompany her to her dance class, because her partner was sick in bed. As they danced, the crocodile made sure to laugh at all of the rabbit’s jokes and compliment him on his soft rabbit fur. The next day, the rabbit brought the crocodile another fresh batch of mud cakes.

When the crocodile was certain that she had gained the trust of the rabbit, and that the rabbit would most certainly do anything the crocodile asked, she began to ask the rabbit for favors that even the kindest of neighbors would object to. She asked him re-thatch the roof of her house. The rabbit obliged. As the rabbit worked, the crocodile batted her crocodile eyes, and flashed her bright white crocodile teeth. The rabbit blushed.

The next day, the crocodile asked the rabbit to find her the finest leaves that could be found on the bank. The rabbit obliged. When the rabbit returned, the crocodile batted her crocodile eyes, and flashed her bright white crocodile teeth. The rabbit blushed.

For the next few weeks the crocodile kept the rabbit busy with many errands and requests, all of which the rabbit gladly obliged because, after all,  the crocodile batted her crocodile eyes, and flashed her bright white crocodile teeth, and no one ever paid the rabbit that kind of attention.

When the crocodile could tell that all of the rabbit’s resources and energy were exhausted, she decided to move to another river bank, and find another soul to bat her crocodile eyes at, so she packed up and moved, without saying goodbye to the rabbit.

The rabbit arrived at the crocodile’s house the next day with a fresh batch of mud cakes, only to find that the house was empty. The rabbit looked for a note because, surely, after all their time together, the crocodile must have grown to care for the rabbit, and would not leave without explanation.  But the rabbit found no note or trace of a message.

The rabbit remained in the solitude of his home for many days, so hurt by the crocodile and ashamed to have trusted so blindly. After all, he was just a plain rabbit that no one cared for in that special way.

When the rabbit decided to emerge from his home, he had a new pair of eyes, and his heart was a little darker. He no longer trusted freely, rather he required his trust to be earned. He still made delicious mud cakes for his neighbors on the bank, but was no longer afraid to ask for payment for his hard work. The rabbit was sadder, but wiser, and depending on who you ask, that could be thought of as an improvement.

The crocodile never returned. The rabbit stayed alone in his home, making mud cakes, and feeling much wiser, for he had learned the power of trust, and the importance of not giving it freely, and he thought that was worth the trade of not having a companion. After all, who would think twice about a simple rabbit? Even though his sadness at the crocodile slowly turned to anger, he still hoped for a day when the crocodile might return, to explain to him her reason for leaving, which he hoped was something simple and easily forgivable.

Sometimes you have to learn to mistrust before you can learn how to truly trust.

Variety

They say that variety is the spice of life,
But I disagree,
I think the real spice of life is the salt
That I taste from your skin.

Going Home

I do not belong
In this place, body, world.

There must have been some kind of mistake,
A joke perhaps,
At my expense.

Who will come to rescue,
Bring me back to my home
Where I can melt into the grain?

I see no flagship,
No search party,
No missing person SOS.

Who will return me to my kingdom of mystery,
An echo of fantasy,
In which I beg is rooted in reality?

I walk this labyrinth while I wait,
Searching for nothing,
But a light beckoning for my return.  


(Slightly better mood. Slightly.)

Strange

I have been feeling very strange lately. No motivation, no inspiration. Very pessimistic. I'm sure it will pass.

Right now, I am listening to this song very much.

For now, I am hoping for a positive attitude and renewed sense of inspiration.

On These Rainy Days

On these rainy days we make our homes in the shells of conch,
And share the meat with our neighbors because it is the polite thing to do.

On these rainy days we gather around the fire,
Made of dried kelp and turned green by the salt.

On these rainy days we string shells,
To make beautiful necklaces to sell when the sun comes up.

On these rainy days we will make empty promises,
And rejoice at the fools who believe us in the haze of the rain.

When I Swallow the Moon

I will swallow the moon tonight.
It will rest in my belly for the evening.
When I open my mouth, sunlight will enter and reflect off the surface.
The light will shine through my skin, ears, eyes.
When people see me they will say,
Look at that girl, she has swallowed the moon. So selfish is she.
I will lift into orbit and begin revolving around the Earth.
I will stay there, a satellite.
When I get lonely, I will expel la Luna and drift back to the surface.
I will be known as the girl who swallowed the moon, which is ok, because I will know that I had seen things they could only imagine.

Playing on the rocks

I cannot tell you how
With hair scented of lavender
And a mouth like the moon
That it came to be one night.

I cannot tell you how
In the refuge of the rocks
And the secrets of urchins
That a seed was planted and nurtured.

I cannot tell you how
When we left I was a hunter
With prey who laid willingly
Upon the placid dunes.

I cannot tell you how
The water slapped the rocks
Like the flap of a wing
From a canary escaping a fox.

I cannot tell you how
The night transformed us
Into two deer
With a wide eyes
And a hunger for salt.

Breathing

Sometimes you have to remind yourself to breathe. You get so caught up in living and caring, that breathing no longer functions as a second nature. We forget to inhale, and rely on others to respire for us. In that moment of forgotten breath, we see things more clearly. That is the point when realization can not be grounded in logic and reason. Decisions are made by heart.

But then again...

Do I want my decisions to be made by logic? Maybe I want my choices to be a matter of feeling, and what feels right. Maybe I should look for more of those lost moments of breath, and try to make all my decisions in those seconds. Maybe I will live without regret if all my actions are based on the most powerful control I have; my emotions. They are usually right, you know.

So my decision is made. I will only think when I do not breathe. And when I breathe, I will be the only one to furnish the air.

Dopotutto, è tutto un'esperienza, giusto?

The only way to live without regret, is to learn to forgive yourself. But first, you have to find something to forgive yourself for.

What do you forgive yourself for today?

I think I would like to start this day over.

One-Lines

I am going through a new phase of writing. For a while my words were all haiku, then I went on to iambic pentameter, then was rhyming, and after that was free verse. I am still experimenting a bit with free verse, but this past week or so, when I am writing I find that everything is coming out as one-lines. Not sure why this change has occurred, nor do I ever know why it does, but I will go with it for now.

If love is an illness, the only cure is logic.

Glass is a powerful thing; it can magnify, make things clearer, and distort, all at the same time.

If I can't have a kiss out of desire, then kiss me out of pity and let me believe the illusion.

Fanciful thought is taking over my mind. How do I make sure it stays that way?

There is no controlling others; there is only influence, and how you allow the influence of others to affect your decision making.



I will sleep now, and hope that no one wakes me up at 2 am, again. (you know who you are)

Today

I have compiled a list of all the things I have learned today.

1. I can waste hours doing absolutely nothing.
2. I am more patient than I should be.
3. Old men love me. (and it's pretty much just old men who do)
4. I have been holding a pencil incorrectly my entire life.
5. A dime sized blister can ruin my plans.

What is the difference between influence and inspiration?

Electricity

Electricity,
Without circuits,
Without  source,
Without a switch.

Electricity,
Created with a touch,
Passed through several layers of skin,
Into the bloodstream,
Coursing through the veins.

Electricity,
Finds its path,
All the way around,
Deep into the chest,
Turns to lust.

(Still not sleeping well. Headache each day. Waking up all night. Cannot wait for my trip to Spain.)

Negative Space

I wish there was more negative space in the art of you and I.




I think the negative space would be easier to crawl through.

Blue

Blu Celeste,
Touch of white,
Almost,
But not quite.

Cerulean,
Touch of white,
Almost,
But not quite.

Azure,
Touch of white,
Almost,
But not quite.

Ocean water,
Dark of night,
Hold my hand,
Now it's right.


( I hope to get some sleep tonight. I have been waking up frequently.)

Chords

I was listening to my music on shuffle, when one of my favorite songs came on. It was "Hallelujah" by Jeff Buckley.
 The first line of the song is "I heard there was a secret chord, that David played and it pleased the Lord."
I began to think that if there were a special note, a special key, that would be considered the perfect sound, what  it might be. Immediately, several things came to mind.

1. My first thought was the major to minor chord change at :48 seconds into "Lover, You Should Have Come Over", also by Jeff Buckley. The chord change is so pristine, so harmonious, that I believe I actually stopped breathing once while listening to it.

2. My second thought was at 1:05 in "Exogenesis Symphony Part 1: Overture" by Muse, which can literally lift me out of my chair.

3. My third, and final thought was all of "Claire De Lune" by Claude Debussy, more specifically, the theme which begins at 1:45. (although the complete song can bring tears to my eyes at any time.)

AH. But was I completely wrong? Maybe this chord is not music; maybe it is more natural...

Here's what I came up with....

If there were a chord, that when played, would guarantee entry to heaven,
I bet it would be that noise you make when I kiss your neck.

Sweetness

Consolation kisses
Lies of the soul
Slap in the face
And ask for more. 
I can pretend they are real. 
I will play the game,
And keep you as an opponent.
I will let you win,
Make you think I am fooled,
But I know the truth and play eagerly,
Because I like the way my cheek burns when you hit me.
 

Lust

(I figure I'll dump some stuff old stuff here today so I don't have to archive through Twitter)

Lust is mine enemy,
and old friend;
Betrays me with weakness,
and atones with pleasure.

Currently Unititled

And I will kiss you in a way that will melt your tongue,
And give you doubts that you had ever really existed before that moment;
You will forget your name and lose control of your knees,
And look at me with brand new eyes,
Wide with discovery.
And you will thank me.

New

I will be posting some of my writing and thoughts here. I hope it can be mildly entertaining.